Neighborhood Cheer and Industry Disappointment

I have acquired a desk and am almost totally settled in my room and my space in Greenpoint, BK, NYC, USA :-) I am settling into the neighborhood here in Brooklyn and am struck by how much more neighborly everything here feels in comparison to Manhattan, where everything feels so transactional. People actually live here, they don’t just exist, or float in and out. People recognize one another as human. This is much more my speed. I am discovering more and more how important relationships are to me and how empty I feel when I am not regularly engaging with people in real and meaningful ways. I have discovered the library and a couple of spots in my neighborhood that feel homey and safe for me to spend time writing. I am finding some places to walk and places to visit when I have guests from out of town (so don’t be a stranger!). I have hosted several friends for dinner at my place; this is a meaningful way to connect with friends, a good excuse to try NYTimes Cooking recipes and it’s budget friendly! I do spend a lot of time in my apartment, teaching, working, studying, cooking and being, but I will start looking for more “out”-lets as I spend longer bouts of time in one place. I helped clean and organize the Brooklyn Peace Center a couple of weeks ago and I am looking forward to collaborating more with this space.

I have also started taking Japanese lessons in preparation for my trip to Japan to visit Anna and Kosuke in 3 weeks. This has been a wonderful way for me to start anticipating this exciting trip despite my busy schedule! Anna set me up with her Japanese teacher, Yoshi-san, and he is meeting me weekly on Zoom and walking me through basics- especially so that I can be polite when I meet Kosuke’s family. It is fun to use my skills of dictation and pronunciation for something other than my job as a singer.

Two weeks ago, after singing a big solo at Marble Collegiate Church, where I work, I headed straight to Penn Station after the service to catch the train to Lancaster, spend the Superbowl with Grace, Ben and the kids (there is nothing quite like a little one plopping themself contentedly into your lap <3 ) and then take the car out west- well, Midwest. The following two days, I drove first to Lexington, KY where I stayed with my dear friend Lydia and her new hubby Greg, and then onto Kansas. It was relaxing to be on the road with nothing but my thoughts, no excuses to work and lots of time to listen to music, podcasts and talk to friends on the phone. The second day of that journey is always the day I start to feel a bit loopy, but then again, maybe that afternoon’s fully-caffeinated coffee played into that. 

In true Marie-fashion, I jam-packed my days in Kansas with lessons and personal visits as soon as I arrived. Those first two days were full and wonderful, but by Friday, I was ready to really get my head in the game and focused for my audition on Saturday: the reason I made the trip in the first place. After sorting through my stuff in the basement and deciding what to fill the car with for the return trip to NYC, Dad and I headed to Tulsa on Friday, checked into the same AirBNB as January and ventured out to a restaurant in West Tulsa called “Billy Ray’s” where we tried the best of their catfish, ribs and brisket. It was an honest cultural experience. A perfect way to spend the evening before the audition day.

The audition on Saturday was incredibly successful in that I have never sung nor been more present in a performance. In the intermission shortly thereafter, many audience members approached me to tell me how moved they were by my performance of the Bernstein aria. Really a triumph. It was also a delight to reconnect with the singers I had met at the Tulsa district, and a few others. When it came time for the awards, I did anything win anything. I kept good spirits and went for my feedback, but it was quite disappointing. The judges began by telling me that my starting Mozart aris is not a good aria, because it's screechy (not me, but the aria), the character is uninteresting and the aria only makes sense on the context of the opera (...which is the case with every aria...). Then they proceeded to offer repertoire suggestions. This seems to always be the go-to feedback for people “high up” in the industry, rather than offering anything that could actually be constructive. The judges could not deny that I had the audience with me and that I was very well in character throughout the pieces, but it really felt like they were trying hard not to say anything positive about me and I left with the distaste of industry politics in my mouth, though satisfied with how I represented myself as an artist and the relationships I made with the other competitors. 

Dad and I drove back to Kansas that evening, into a beautiful sunset, a reminder of how little control we actually have in the grand scheme of things.

Sunday morning, Kendra and I set off on a 14-hour day in the car. We made it all the way to Akron and it was great. We travel very well together and Kendra was the real MVP, taking long stretches of the driving. I ended up having to do very little driving on the way back. But we had some really special and meaningful conversations, getting to grow our friendship. I am so grateful for her helping me in this way. Our second day on the road, we only had 7 hours to go and arrived in Brooklyn before the sun went down. We got all of my stuff unloaded, parked the car, met one of my very interesting artist neighbors, walked the neighborhood, ate some yummy Polish food, headed home and proceeded to unload every box AND hang all of my art. Did I mention that Kendra is THE real MVP?? 

The next day (yes, I don’t know what is wrong with me…), I sang a big industry audition for Juilliard students and alumni. I sang the sang repertoire that I had sung at the competition and again, really represented myself well as an artist. Vocally, I was not the greatest I have ever been, as I had just been in the car for two days straight. But the repertoire wasn/t hugely vocally demanding and I made up for any lack in my commitment to the stories, characters and music. This was an unusual audition because instead of a panel of 1-3 people, there were about 30 people in the room.

Kendra and I proceeded to traverse Manhattan on foot, walking through Times Square, taking a stop in the Bryant Park Library, and the Starbucks Reserve in the Empire State Building, before a delicious Korean dinner in K-town. The next day, Kendra and I had an amazing morning doing a tea-tasting at Kettl Tea, one of the best Japanese tea places in NYC, which happens to be a few blocks from my apartment. Full of caffeine, we headed off to get some NY slices at a pizza place a block away and then it was time to send Kendra and the car off to PA.

I am now amidst my longest stint yet in Brooklyn- a whole 3 weeks before my trip to Japan. Ahhhhhh!!! It feels good to be a little more settled. Things are starting to settle in different areas of my life as well. I am so grateful. It is time for me to have a little bit more stability, a little bit more rest. Being in one place again will allow me to have a routine again (for the first time in almost a year!!) and it will allow me to dream and work on projects. I have so many ideas! This is very exciting for me. I think I am establishing myself here. And it feels good. It feels right.

Love from NYC,

Marie on the Road, perhaps soon to be, Marie in NYC